life begins... I am continually floored by what the world has to offer me.  If I simply let it.  When I get out of my own way, and let go of my stories and ideas of what this life should look like, the beauty that is there before me never ceases to amaze me.


I find myself saying to friends: 'This last week has been challenging'.  As I say it I realize that this last month has been challenging.  And as I acknowledge that, I see that this last year has been.  And then I step back and see that it is the last chunk of years, not just the last week, or month, or year, or even few years.  Life presents challenges and we are given the opportunity to learn. and grow.  What I see highlighted the most, even, and sometimes most especially in those challenges, is the tremendous amount of beauty and grace that is in my life.  In these challenges I have been offered an opportunity to dive deeper, continually. to chose, each moment to face what is here and get to know, and in turn love, myself and who I am as a woman, a mother, a lover and a friend.  There has been heartache and fear and everything that is to be expected, but there has also been an insane amount of grace, joy and utter bliss.  It is as if in fully opening and surrendering to what is offered, I experience life more fully than I could have ever 'pictured'.  I not only feel the deep ache of the sorrow and struggle that has been a part of my life, but the deep ecstasy is that much greater, that much more palpable.  I feel it to my bones.  All of it.  And for that I am eternally grateful.  I come through stronger and more clear, I know myself more than I ever have.  I have the deep desire to learn more, more, more.  Always.  About myself, about my friends and loves and child, and also about what is here.  I am endlessly inspired.  And it feels so damn good.

And at the same time, I feel the true sense of vulnerability as I commit these words to 'paper' and put them out to the world.

Here I am.

And here is where we'll start.

My mind blanks.  Words long to fill this empty space and yet, where will they come from?  Where do i begin to slowly and simply paint such a large and intricate picture?  There is so much in my heart and so much in my head that could so easily land on this page as a sampling of who i am and the winding path my life has taken me on.  But here in this moment, as mama, my little one needs me.  So instead, we will jump on our bikes and ride down to the farmer's market.  Today is the beginning, and so will tomorrow be. meow